Pretty Fly for a Uruk-Hai.

Probably many of you have heard of the band Offspring at some point. As far as I'm concerned, they're a punk band who went pop. I refuse to call bands "sellouts" just because they want to make more money. Anyway, back in 1998 they had a hit song with "Pretty Fly for a White Guy." The video is somewhat amusing, and you can find it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nzY2Qcu5i2A.

Of course, many nerd parodies abound. "Pretty Fly for a Jedi." "Pretty Fly for a Draenei." It's not bad stuff, either. But I figured I would take this parody back to the grand-daddy of most fantasy fiction: J. R. R. Tolkien.

Obviously, this song hasn't been recorded yet, but I'm seriously hoping it will be soon...and I would love to make a Youtube video for it. Unfortunately I know nothing about film except that it uses a camera, so if you know a guy who knows a guy...

And here are the lyrics, complete with utter silliness and Sindarin (because nothing says "gigantic dork" like using Elvish):

Pretty Fly for a Uruk-Hai

Anno nin laes!
Anno nin laes!
Anno nin laes!*
And all the Balrogs say I'm pretty fly for a Uruk-hai.

Min tâd neleð canad leben leben eneg**

Things are kinda hectic in Middle-Earth Third Age
A wizard made our subject and he filled him up with rage
He may not be cool, yeah, he may be a big dork
But one thing's in his favor--at least he's not an orc!

Chorus:
So obey the Nine and keep the orcs in line
You know he's got no choice but to comply
Look for the halfling who's got a golden ring
But for you no way, for you no way
You gotta fight for Saruman the White
At least the white hand painted on your shield is pretty tight.
Your boss wants the One Ring
So hey hey kill Boromir today!

Anno nin laes!
Anno nin laes!
Anno nin laes!
And Gríma Wormtongue says I'm pretty fly for a Uruk-hai.

He's taken hobbits captive and he's speeding through Rohan
But hot on his trail are elf, dwarf, and Dúnadan
He's not too concerned 'cause he says he don't fear'em
Still he better watch out for Éomer's Rohirrim!

(repeat chorus)

So he's at Helm's Deep and he's getting over-run
Gandalf showed up and the odds are five-to-one
He's trying to escape 'cause it's gotten quite tense
But if he's not careful he'll meet his end by Ents!

Anno nin laes!
Anno nin laes!
Anno nin laes!
And all the Southrons say I'm pretty fly for a Uruk-hai.
Min tâd neleð canad leben leben eneg

So obey the Nine and keep the orcs in line
You know he's got no choice but to comply
Look for the halfling who's got a golden ring
But for you no way, for you no way
You gotta fight for Saruman the White
At least the white hand painted on your shield is pretty tight.
Your boss wants the One Ring
Gondor wants the One Ring
Everyone wants the One Ring
So hey hey kill Boromir today!

*This is the closest translation of "give it to me, baby" that I could cobble in Sindarin. It is probably wrong. I don't care.

**Obviously this is "uno dos tres cuatro cinco cinco seis" in Sindarin.