Someone needs to make me put my pencil down.

I don't know, THIS might be the most brilliant thing I've ever written, eclipsing even the Octogenarian Project.  I think this is why I get all the chicks.

I'm a hypnotist
A mathematical lyricist
So let me calculate your hypotenuse
You know what I mean
But you're so cute when you're obtuse.

Find my interior angles
I'll compute your slope
Lie tangent to my curves and become my asymptote
Let's test my theory, let's make this fact
I know you can hear me
This ain't just sex--it's math.

I'll circumscribe you
If you want, baby, I'll factor,
Derive, and divide you.
Like 5 into 30, I'm even into that
It might be dirty
But this ain't just sex--it's math.

If you've got a projectile
I've got a formula for trajectory
Don't shy from this
I'm a scientist
Of disciplines priapic and erectory.

You bring me to the vertex,
The apex, the climax
You put the (x) in S-E-X
And I
I just want to be
Your (y).

I can do you applied
Or I can do you theoretical
(That means it's all in your mind)
I can finish with solutions
Or just with hypotheticals
My methods might be spurious, but they're always exact
You know you're curious
This ain't just sex--it's math.

I really, really want to record this and make a Youtube video.  I REALLY DO.