Girlfriends Deciphered by Dungeons & Dragons

 So you're looking for a girlfriend--or perhaps, congratulations, you've found a girlfriend! Whether it's your first, your first after a long time, or the next one in a string of women whose hearts you've broken (ha, right), you're seeking some guidance.

Well, while I haven't had relationships with women, I am a woman myself, and I've played Agony Aunt to countless male friends during the advents, durations, and demises of their relationships with women.  Perhaps more importantly, I am a gamer, and I thought it might be helpful to write a manual for those of you who are bewildered by the fairer sex.  This guide will help you differentiate between women you should grip tighter than your +1 Vorpal Blade of Rat-killing (that sounds so dirty) and women you should run away from as if they were a grue! ...and of course, points between.

So without further ado, here's Katrushka's

Guide to Girlfriend Alignment