Pirates vs. Ninjas

Some subjects are the topic of epics. Like ripping off a monster's arm and then beating up his mum when she comes to complain, like Beowulf. Or going to find some horn or something and getting beaten up by a Sea Witch, like the Finnish Kalevala. These days, the vernacular mythology, at least in the West, seems to revolve around Internet memes. Somebody set us up the bomb. Over 9000?! Basement Cat. All of those.

And then there's Pirates vs. Ninjas. I'm sure the subject has been done to death, but I always like to give a dead horse a good kicking, so here is my epic poem about.......drumroll please................Pirates. Vs. Ninjas.