Pirates vs. Ninjas

Some subjects are the topic of epics. Like ripping off a monster's arm and then beating up his mum when she comes to complain, like Beowulf. Or going to find some horn or something and getting beaten up by a Sea Witch, like the Finnish Kalevala. These days, the vernacular mythology, at least in the West, seems to revolve around Internet memes. Somebody set us up the bomb. Over 9000?! Basement Cat. All of those.

And then there's Pirates vs. Ninjas. I'm sure the subject has been done to death, but I always like to give a dead horse a good kicking, so here is my epic poem about.......drumroll please................Pirates. Vs. Ninjas.

Sorry about the lack of updating.

My life got pretty exciting and fun over the past few weeks, what with my best friend coming for a visit from NC and staying with me for a week which coincided with a two-week stay by my boyfriend, and then this week I started classes, and I'm still working full-time, so I've got a 40 hour work-week, then three night classes, then two online classes...

Plus, the boyfriend is moving here next month, which is nice. He'll have his own place but I'm sure we'll just migrate between houses and pretend to be married except for the filing joint tax returns and having babies part. That stuff can wait.

I do promise that I will be updating my blog, because I tend to get MORE creative as my schedule gets more hectic. Plus, I owe my friend Stacey the Harry Potter/Sting & the Police parody she asked for. SO there will be a post sometime this weekend, yes indeed.

Pretty Fly for a Uruk-Hai.

Probably many of you have heard of the band Offspring at some point. As far as I'm concerned, they're a punk band who went pop. I refuse to call bands "sellouts" just because they want to make more money. Anyway, back in 1998 they had a hit song with "Pretty Fly for a White Guy." The video is somewhat amusing, and you can find it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nzY2Qcu5i2A.

Of course, many nerd parodies abound. "Pretty Fly for a Jedi." "Pretty Fly for a Draenei." It's not bad stuff, either. But I figured I would take this parody back to the grand-daddy of most fantasy fiction: J. R. R. Tolkien.

Obviously, this song hasn't been recorded yet, but I'm seriously hoping it will be soon...and I would love to make a Youtube video for it. Unfortunately I know nothing about film except that it uses a camera, so if you know a guy who knows a guy...

And here are the lyrics, complete with utter silliness and Sindarin (because nothing says "gigantic dork" like using Elvish):